Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkins have a variety of things inside them, pulp and seeds, and sometimes candles. Candles are usually found after the pumpkin has been killed and gutted. Contrary to popular belief, pumpkin seeds neither cause, nor cure, cancer. Truth be told, pumpkin seeds have nothing to do with cancer at all.

Gift Cards

Gift cards come in various amounts, including $1, $5, $20, and $50. A $1 gift card is a nice way of saying “Let’s not be friends anymore”. A $50 gift card is a nice way of saying “I want to remain friends, but I don’t know you that well and I’m really kind of busy right now.”

Fun with Fireworks

Fireworks can be lots of fun. Fireworks are crafted by specially trained Chinese fire wranglers, and made of 50% fire, 50% noise. When used properly, fireworks can result in 100% fun. Fireworks are best used outside. If you must use fireworks inside, make sure you are in another person’s house. A person you no longer want to be friends with.