Nine Lives of Newspaper

Newspaper has a thousand frugal uses beyond spreading the latest in horrible news. Once you are finished reading how the economy has crashed and you are now broke, put your newspaper to good use. Since you can no longer afford paper towel, having recently been bankrupted by bad news, use that newspaper to soak up that spot where the dog peed. Newspaper can also be used as gift wrap, if you have any money left to purchase one. In an emergency, newspaper can even be used as packing insulation. Get some mice to chew the newspaper up for you.

Paying Bills and Loneliness

You may notice that bills come, generally by mail, generally every month or so. Generally, you should pay them every month, generally. Sometimes it’s fun not to pay the bills for a while. Especially if you are lonely. Just don’t pay your bills and you will start getting phone calls, sometimes from real people. Now you have someone to chat up.