Gift Cards

Gift cards come in various amounts, including $1, $5, $20, and $50. A $1 gift card is a nice way of saying “Let’s not be friends anymore”. A $50 gift card is a nice way of saying “I want to remain friends, but I don’t know you that well and I’m really kind of busy right now.”

Wedding Gifts

A watermelon flavored Jolly Rancher is not an appropriate wedding gift, because you don’t know, the groom might be a diabetic. A much safer gift is to just buy a real watermelon. Also, go ahead and gift wrap that watermelon and put on some nice clothes.